


Live a Little

by BWaves



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Car Accident mention, Coma, Depression, M/M, Neglect, Recovery, hearing loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-02-08 15:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1946907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BWaves/pseuds/BWaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lethargy - noun - a lack of energy and enthusiasm. It’s starting to sound like this is what Bro’s life has become. All day every day, as it were. The usual interests are little hums in the back of his mind and he’s sure that it’s getting harder to go to the effort of getting out of bed every morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by: Live a Little by Gym Class Heroes

Every day is the same. He wakes from sleep a bit less tired than the night before, he showers, he gets on his computer to work, and he neglects his lover just a little bit more. It's not that he wants to, that last one. He would spend every waking moment with John if the other would just get out of bed. But as it stands he doesn't. He lays there, sleeps, or cries. Sometimes he talks to himself. But he never leaves.

Bro thinks he's probably just depressed.

He doesn't want to be misunderstood, he loves John. More than anything, which was surprising even to him, because he hadn't really loved anyone until the brunette came along. Everything was wonderful for the longest time, too. They were lovesick puppies until a couple of months ago, when John's mood just started to drop. He fell slowly, over the span of time Bro felt helpless as he watched his lover get torn down from the inside out.

At first it didn't seem like much, he lost interest in pulling every prank imaginable on Bro. At first it was a blessing, getting such a break, but then his interest in movies declined. Next to go was the coding ("I was never any good at it anyways, why waste my time?") then video games. Sex was the next thing, he started turning down more advances, and Bro respected this, but it was unlike him to an extent.

For the past four days John hasn't gotten out of bed.

For the past two Bro has considered doing the same. Staying with him and trying harder to pry words out of him that aren't self depreciating apologies and "Please don't leave me."

He's never felt quite this powerless. He knows he could call someone but who would he call?

A therapist? Would John bother to get out of bed for that? Would Bro have to force him to go?

The man shuts his computer with a sigh, like he does every day now. The internet gives him the answers, but he can't bring himself to execute. He cant bring himself to do much of anything nowadays.

There's a soft noise that catches his attention, and his eyes shift to the doorway of the bedroom. He can see the bed from here, and John is sat up, knees pulled to his chest and shoulders shaking with sobs Bro can barely make out.

He's on his feet in a matter of moments and he crosses to the bedroom door, then to the bed. He sits down on the edge nearest to John and rests a hand gently on his shoulder.

Bro doesn't expect John to move, he hasn't before, but there's a shift, and he leans into the hand on his shoulder, then releases his legs and moves closer soon enough crawling into Bro's lap and curling against him, all the while the sobs never letting up.

It's different. Usually when something changes that means it's getting worse and Bro wraps his arms around his smaller lover tightly, wishing with all he has that he could help.

"Bro..." it's small, it's shaking, and Bro tightens his hold, hoping it instills some comfort, "Bro, I'm sorry." But it leads to the same thing it always does, an apology. For what Bro isn't sure. There's never an explanation, just an apology.

The words start, apology after unwarranted apology spilling forth and all Bro can do is hush him and tell him that it is okay, tell John that he is forgiven for whatever it is he is apologizing for.

"It's not your fault, John." He tells him, but John never agrees. Bro holds him until he stops crying, then until he falls asleep. He lays his lover down on the bed and stays with him, holding the sleeping form tightly to his chest and sighing.

\-------------------------

John stares at the blank face of Bro Strider, trying like he always does to ignore the tubes and wires and the oxygen mask over the other's face.

He's been under for weeks. It's getting harder to look at him, he looks like he's withering away.

John rests his hand over Bro's lightly, carefully running his fingers over the pale knuckles and pretending for just a moment that Bro can feel it somewhere in there. The doctors had told him that talking to Bro might wake him up, holding his hand may help.

John used to come and stay all day. He used to sit in the chair and babble on and on in hopes of waking his lover up, but every day he stayed asleep, and every day John lost a little more hope.

His visits didn't slow for the first couple of weeks, but his energy dropped, he got less enthusiastic and spoke about less subjects.

Now he just sits, and he apologizes. He lays his head next to Bro's and apologizes for everything he's ever done, that time he broke Bro's laptop, that time he got wasted and threw up in bed, but most of them are for thinking that it was okay to try driving the way he was that night.

He apologizes for running the red light, and for getting Bro hurt.

It's all he can do.

The doctors started saying he may never wake up after the fourth week.

John tries to ignore that thought as he sits on the bed, lightly playing with Bro's hair as he frowns. He fights back his tears and he places a light kiss on his forehead before laying down next to him, his fingers curling against the other's chest as he begins his routine as of late. He drops apology after apology until he's reduced himself to tears.

"Please wake up," is the last whole sentence he can manage before the weeping takes over, his throat tight and jaw clenched as he holds his lover tightly, wishing with all he has that he could help.

"I need you," comes out strained.

"I love you," is almost silent between sobs.

"Please wake up," is repeated, again and again until John isn't sure there are any other words in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk, I reread the first chapter and was all 'this needs a happy ending' and promptly shat this out.
> 
> Enjoy.

When Bro’s eyes crack open it feels like morning. He expects to roll over to a lover who will not respond, but when he looks to his side instead he sees a heart monitor. The little green line on the machine jumps with each thump of his heart, and he looks to his other side.

Underneath the window is a chair. Perched in the chair is someone wrapped up in two large blankets. They look like the hospital provided them. The person hidden under them is shivering despite the warmth in the room and the blankets.

Bro closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, allows his head a moment to clear. When he opens them again he looks over to the person in the chair once more.

They shift, the blanket slips off their head, and dark hair is revealed through the gaps between the blankets.

“John.” Bro says… Or… Thinks he says. He doesn’t hear himself say it, but he’s quite sure that it is what he has said. His head is so fuzzy.

He jumps. John jumps, his head flies up. His glasses are missing, and Bro notes the blood shot eyes, plus the streams of tears down his cheeks. He realizes that John wasn’t shivering, he was crying. Shaking from the force of it.

And when those beautiful blue eyes land on Bro he’s sure his heart speeds up, because he doesn’t know how he got here, but John is actually responding to him. He’ll ask later.

John jumps out of the chair, and rushes past the bed. Bro is close to being downright offended until John stops in the doorway and he hears the muffled sounds of him yelling. Probably for a doctor. When one shows up, and steps into the room, John comes back, comes around to the side of the bed closest to the chair and grabs onto Bro’s hand.

Bro watches as John pulls it close to his face, he can feel the other’s lips pulled back as he cries against the back of his hand. Bro can’t help himself, he smiles. He turns his hand out of John’s grip and cups his cheek, he rubs his thumb under his eye to wipe away the tears and he sees something it feels like he hasn’t seen in ages.

John’s smile.

\-------------------------

John lost track of the days a month ago. He had mostly given up, but he was so sure… He was always there, or when he wasn’t, when he had to work, he made Dave stay there. He wanted someone there if Bro woke up.

And one day he did. He woke up, and he said John’s name and he held his cheek and wiped away his tears.

There had been a few long lasting complications, of course. Bro’s hearing had been impaired by the damage his head took, but thankfully it wasn’t anything a couple of hearing aids couldn’t fix.

It didn’t stop John from insisting they learn an alternative way to communicate, for when Bro doesn’t have the hearing aids in, or if he ever loses them (though Bro insists he will never lose them). So naturally, ASL classes became the norm for them. John picked up fairly quickly that the hearing wasn’t the only change, but the most prominent.

The first time after Bro came home from the hospital that John made a move he was denied. Gently, and with a myriad of little apologies, but denied no less. Which was a change, because before the accident it was Bro that was constantly making passes.

It probably wasn’t until two months after Bro was home again that they had sex, and even then it was gentle as if Bro thought he would break John.

Five months after he came home Bro told John what he had dreamed about while he was asleep. And it was sad. It made John sad. But Bro explained just how happy he was that it had all been a dream. He was so happy to know that John was alright, and that he didn’t need that kind of help. He tells his younger lover that he had been worried for his very life and John kisses him in an attempt to quell the sobs.

Nine months, one week and four days after getting home Bro is finished with physical therapy. All of his motor functions are up to the average person’s abilities. There won’t be much strifing anymore, though Bro determines he will keep up with the different workouts to keep up everything, and not go too fast trying to reach his goal of his previous abilities (which is a lie, John learns fairly quickly, and has to swat Bro on the back of the head when he finds out he sliced the shit out of himself trying to do a trick with his sword).

On the year anniversary of Bro getting out of the hospital John throws him a party, which Bro finds ridiculous, but absolutely loves despite his snarky comments. That night when he and John have sex it’s especially gentle and loving.

Everything falls back into place. And Bro is sure to forgive John every day for the accident that caused the whole mess, and every day John goes sober Bro considers a victory for the both of them. There have been changes, sure, but what they grow to have is good, and they are both happy.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is bruhthatsgay.tumblr.com and sometimes I like to take requests!


End file.
